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Love, defined

A college girl that I mentor asked me the other night to explain what exactly love is – to explain what it looks like. Give the definition.

One of the problems with so many relationships is that one or both people have a wrong picture of what love looks like or is. People have this idealized, spoon-fed vision of how they think it should be. They find themselves disappointed even when the real thing is looking them in the face.

The world is waiting for those “over the moon” feelings and when that goes away, they leave, or divorce the person because they “aren’t in love anymore.”

What was my answer to my college-aged friend? Love is a choice. It is an action you constantly take when you choose to love another person.

A choice? How unromantic Jessica. Actually, it’s terribly romantic. The greatest
love we will ever experience was a choice and it’s the demonstration we are
told to follow.

After the fall of man God did not look down on this world with warm fuzzies. He wasn’t giddy when He saw us. Contrary to that – our sin made us utterly repulsive to him. We were disgusting and there was nothing about us that made us desirable.

But He chose to love us.

Jesus wasn’t itching to die on a cross because He found us so darn cute. He chose to carry our sins, to be beaten, to die because He made the choice to love us. He committed himself to that at all costs.

And that is the most romantic act of love our world has ever seen.

It makes me wonder, if we viewed love like this how different we would treat people, how different marriages and other relationships would be.  If we acted on commitment and choice over the fluff that often is emotions.

And, take heart, I’m not saying throw emotions out, just the reverse.  When you chose to love someone the heart follows and it is a deeper love than any “butterflies in the stomach” could bring.  It’s something that doesn’t fade.


About Jess Keller

I'm an author, speaker and chocolate eater who's chasing hard after my dreams.

2 responses »

  1. I love that – when you choose to love someone, the heart follows. I attended a Beth Moore simulcast last weekend, and she said a similiar thing. Sometimes you have to lead your heart.


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