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“They” Have It All Together

*Guest Author: Paula Mowery

Do you suffer from the “they have it all together” syndrome? This occurs when you see other women who seem to have everything in their lives under control and you wonder what your problem is.

My house contains two adults and a teenager, but with the amount of trash, dishes, and laundry, you would think there were at least ten to fifteen of us. Remember the story about the elves and the shoemaker? The elves helped out the shoemaker by making shoes which were discovered each morning.  I think I have elves too, but instead of helping me out, they make more trash and laundry.  However, when I go to one of “their” houses, there are no piles of anything; all is in order. Why? “They” have it all together.

What is it about bathrooms? I still have hair on my head, but if you saw my bathroom floor, you would wonder how. When I visit a friend’s house, I scope out the bathroom just to see if she has the same problem. What I find through my detective work is the discovery of an emaculent powder room. There is no way that room is ever used for anything but company, right? But, then again, “they” have it all together.

This syndrome not only strikes at home. Sunday mornings I drag into church tired from trying to get everyone ready and out the door, but “they” stroll in radiant with every hair in place. My hair looks like I just got out of bed even though I spent twenty minutes fixing it and yelling at it in the mirror.  It is not a compliment when “they” say in hushed tones: “Here take this card.  It’s my hairdresser. She can do miracles.” But, remember, “they” have it all together.

What about those covered dish luncheons? You barely make it and almost forget to bring a dish, which is a true sin. “They” arrive with their gourmet dish – a homemade delicacy passed down through generations. Mine is homemade too – I made it at home- me and Hamburger Helper. It has been passed down through my family too.  My mother occasionally brought out that familiar box. I have a feeling that doesn’t count, but what do I expect? “They” have it all together.

Upon examination, all of these instances focus upon outward appearances.  God doesn’t place my worth upon these areas. In 1 Peter 3:3-4 He says:

“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” (NIV)

Maybe “they” do have it all together on the outside, but what about on the inside? I must strive not to judge myself based on what “they” say or do. God finds greater worth and beauty in what happens in my heart. Of course, I could probably use some help in that area too. Oh, and Lord, do You have any tips for cleaning my bathroom?


Paula Mowery is a pastor’s wife and a homeschool mom. She has always been an avid reader of Christian fiction. She began writing in the area of nonfiction creating three Bible studies which were self-published. However, she crafted fiction stories which she shared with friends and family. When one of her readers encouraged her to pursue publication, she joined American Christian Fiction Writers, learning more about the world of fiction. Her debut work of fiction is a novella published by Harbourlight, a division of Pelican Book Group – THE BLESSING SEER.

Learn more about Paula at her blog –

Read more of her writing in her monthly column on

Catch a short story or book review by her in the new online magazine



When God sends Addy a special messenger who challenges her to step from her comfort zone, she isn’t sure she’s up to the job. She feels inadequate to take on the task of encouraging others, and when she starts seeing visions, she worries she’s losing her mind.

Yet, Addy wants only to be used by God, even if that means seeing visions and risking relationship with family and friends. By stepping out on a limb, can Addy really accomplish something significant for God? What affect will her surrender to His will have on those around her? And, what affect will it have on her own life?


About Jess Keller

I'm an author, speaker and chocolate eater who's chasing hard after my dreams.

One response »

  1. Brooke (Brooksie) Cox

    Awesome Job Paula. I don’t have it together either and I probably never will


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