The other day I posted a thought as my Facebook status: If you had a friend who talked to you how you talked to yourself, how long would that friendship last? It’s something to consider.
Why is it that we feel a freedom, and even sometimes a sick-sense of misplaced righteousness in speaking poorly to ourselves?
You know the scenario: Your week has been going poorly. The thing you were looking forward to didn’t happen. The situation you placed all your hopes in just went down the drain. The person you were counting on let you down. You made a fool out of yourself. Any number of things, but it all leads to that moment where you’re alone and you start lion-eating away at your confidence:
No wonder they don’t like you.
You have nothing important to say.
You ugly, fat, no one will ever love you.
Why did you even try?
And the list goes on. As it does you feel smaller and smaller until you feel like you’re nothing.
How do I know? Because I’ve been there. I’ve taken that road more times than I’d like to admit. I’m a terribly shy introvert so I self-talk myself into despair if I have to be in a situation where I’m among strangers and need to make small talk. Over the past nine months while my husband and I have been going through infertility treatments I’ve had to take hormones and have been instructed not to work-out at all. So the pounds have come on and I’m angry at the way I look and the way clothes fit (or don’t fit…). I can talk myself into tremors when it comes to my writing career.
But know what? It’s wrong, very, very wrong to speak to ourselves this way. Because you see, we offend God in the midst of our pity-parties.
Our God is not a god of discouragement. Seek Scripture. He is a God who challenges us to be better, who demands change, but He never belittles us. When I look in the mirror and tell myself I’m not worth anything, that’s sin.
To God the Father I am worth His Son, and to Jesus I am worth His very life. How dare I cheapen that in a moment when I’m feeling down.
Don’t believe me?
“You were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.” -1 Corinthians 6:20
“Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs on your head are numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.” -Matthew 10:29-31
Don’t mishear me. It’s okay, it’s human to feel disappointment. God tells us to mourn. When that raise doesn’t go through. When your loved one passes on. When the diagnosis comes back bad. Mourn. Rail against God if you need to (He can take it, see Job and David for examples!). But don’t, don’t, don’t tear yourself to shreds. God thinks about you differently — you’re His prized child — He’ll win every time.
Much love -Jess